Darn it, express yourself

Darn it. For most, it is now a polite way to escape a swat from grandmother when you really want to say damn it or something even more graphic. It’s a mild expletive, a way to voice frustration. But it is so much more.

Little House on the Prairie aficionados or, more currently, fans of When Calls the Heart are likely to read a much different meaning into darn it – as in it is a call to action.

Small hole beginning to peek through the heel, never fear. Darn it – that’s the long abandoned practice (there’s wikiHow video here for those who may want to revive the ancient method) of mending socks. My modern custom is to bundle them up and toss them into the bin. So fear not, the point of today is not to extol the frugality of repairing ripped hose.

But bemoaning the loss of another pair has made me reflective on how far socks have come and now represent a form of simultaneous individualism and conformity.

Socks, in younger days, were not given much thought. Without fail at birthday and Christmas a package would arrive from Nan, card containing 20 pounds and in the package a three-pack of white tube socks from Woolworth’s. Set for the year.

The only addition was a couple of pair of black socks for Sunday best occasions, including church. That was it.

Now the sock drawer is more multi-coloured than ever. Socks no longer are utilitarian. They each serve specific uses.

There are the socklets for athletics, used for running and racquet sports. There are no-show socks, used for when donning loafers, driving shoes or espadrilles. Then there are the work socks, made of tougher materials for boot wearing and then the odd fun pair of hosiery. Not to mention the everyday dress sock which is part of the uniform.

Socks are a necessary evil. Key to preventing smell, stopping abrasions on the foot and hiding the paleness of the skin (especially during winter). They are also immensely frustrating. Forever falling down, the only known way to prevent being garters across the top. A short shelf life seems as if they were designed by a tech company. And we all know white socks and sandals are simply scandalous.

But as banal as they became in the 20^th century, it wasn’t always so. Any fan of history will recall paintings of kings and warriors decked out extravagantly. Upon the conduct of a little research (Google), Wikipedia threw this up:

During the Middle Ages, the length of trousers was extended and the sock became a tight, brightly-colored cloth covering the lower part of the leg. Since socks didn’t have an elastic band, garters were placed over the top of the stockings to prevent them from falling down. When breeches became shorter, socks began to get longer (and more expensive). By 1000 AD, socks became a symbol of wealth among the nobility.

When it comes to men’s wear today there is not a lot of options to add flair, without tipping over into the overly extravagant. Suits hew to basic hues with the odd variation of pattern, check or lines. The NBA-splash of colour suit is not an option open to many – garish works in the underground hallways of an arena when you’re a multi-millionaire, not so much in the cubicle most of us occupy daily.

Currently, the President of the United States wears ties in a way seemingly designed to compensate for inadequacies. Our prime minister likes to be cool with novelty socks, attracting attention to heel over head.

Trend towards novelty socks isn’t new. And maybe it is fuddy-duddy thinking but for the most part they have no part in a gentlemen’s every day wardrobe. Colour, yes. Stripes, of course. Geometric shapes, intriguing and appropriate. Elmer Fudd, not so much; not on your tie or your feet.

So the small accessories become more important – the tie, tie bar, the pocket square, lapel pin and, of course, socks. Key is understanding that restraint works with accessories – tie bar, pocket square and vest all together is too much.

Socks perfectly matched to tie colour is not necessary, in fact better not to. Take a hint of the colour from the noose around your neck and see it reflected in the bottom of the ensemble. Maybe play off the pocket square. Tie (pardon the pun) the whole outfit together.

Which is not to say there aren’t moments for fun socks. Mona Lisa and Sherlock Holmes shod these feet, on the weekend. They can be fun. And if a trip to the Louvre or 221B Baker Street materializes, they will be included in the trip. A great pair of Christmas socks also brightens any holiday season.

But if you’ve built the rest of your wardrobe so people see competence and elegance in perfect harmony why ruin it with wildly goofy socks every day? It’s disconcerting and jarring.

Unless, of course, you are interviewing Mark Hamill – then get your geek on.